Twisted & Turned

Possibly the expressive, most accurately described way to convey just how it feels when you suffer from Depression, Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder, Social Phobia and PTSD. Throw in a wad of OCD and you are in damp cloth overload.

Learning to walk with the demons by my side

Twisted and turned, first in one direction then the other, that is how you wring out a wash cloth.  Squeeze and turn as hard as you can and the water drips out, until you are left with a damp cloth.  That is how I feel on days when anxiety is high, I’m low from depression, and all my senses are in a heightened state from PTSD and panic.  From head to toe I feel like I’m being twisted and turned.

There is a sadness that underlies and amplifies these emotions and symptoms.  As I rive in pain, both physical and mental, from all the overwhelming emotions twisting and turning inside me,  the only release is the tears that fall; water from the wringing.  It leaves me as tired as that old damp cloth.

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