Dear Google Voice: Why, why, why?

It would seem that us Deafies aren’t the only ones who have to tolerate ridiculousness in this world.

My hearing husband (Finnish born and bred) this morning decided to give his hands a rest with sign language. Instead, he dug out his tablet and switched on Google Voice to talk to his Deaf wife.

What he said to Google Voice:

I AM GOING TO GET MY MUM FROM WORK SOON.

What Google translated to me:

That is closed caption arm from the shoulder.
Federico’s Texas mom from virtual.
Pedicles catfish mom from virtual.
Tentacles catfish mom from virtual.
Articles catfish mine from books sold.
That includes catfish man from the actual.
That goes past his mom from virtual.
Articles catfish mom from the actual.
That it goes catch fish mom from the actual.
Articles catfish mom from virtual.
After those ten attempts, my husband then said to Google Voice:

GOOGLE IS SHIT

What translated to me:

Google is shit 😉

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